[You're supposed to feel your emotions in your heart, but right now he feels them more in his stomach, which is doing all kinds of flips and twists as he reads Wanda's message. Jesus, he feels like throwing up.]
So you've been talking to Lucifer.
You realize who he is, right? I feel like a fucking idiot for not seeing it sooner.
I don't know what the hell you can do to help me from all the way over there. I don't
He is the devil in the religion of some. I also know he is not the kindest nor the easiest to converse with, but it sounds like he cares. If you would believe it.
I told him the same, that I could not do much from here.
But.
[she thought of something, because of course she did.]
Do you have something to write on? I will write some runes for you. Protective runes. They have a power to them, I promise you.
[Of course Wanda already knew. It's just him who's a blind, naive idiot.]
He doesn't care about me, he just knows he can't manipulate me if I'm pissed off at him.
Give me a second.
Ok, I've got it.
[He's annoyed at her at the moment — just because he's annoyed at everyone, all of his animosity toward Lucifer leaking and bleeding — but he won't shove away her help. He's desperate for any shield, any armor.]
[Very sneaky, barraging him with runes to copy down so that he has to focus on that task before the magically transmitted message fades from sight — which leaves him unable to answer for a few minutes. Her judgment of Lucifer, like a secret password, does defuse his annoyance. Toward her, at least.]
[yeah, they'll talk about this in a minute. first, she needs to express this to him.]
Excuse the lesson in runes.
ᛉ is called algiz. It helps in the control of emotion and offers protection in keeping them moderate. ᚲ is kauna. It is the rune of opening, of new clarity and concentration. If you keep this rune close to you, you will see past the distractions and your focus will be clear. ᛗ is known as mannaz, the self. It is all about balance, to listen to your impulses but keep only to those best suited in your setting. Finally, ᛇ is eiwaz. This rune is about defenses, to have the strength to ward off and repel obstacles. Patience, perseverance, and caution.
You can draw them on the outside of your fingers or the inside of your wrist in a circular pattern. The order doesn't matter. If you are good at stitching, you could even put them on the inside of your clothes.
They aren't foolproof, but they will boost the qualities they are meant for. Any questions?
[As Wanda explains each rune, Wilhelm double checks the symbols against the one's he's drawn to make sure they're accurate. Control. Focus. Balance. Perseverance. All things he could use more of. Staring at the lines he's scratched down, he tries to get his heart to calm and his stomach to settle.]
Thanks. I think I've got it.
I told him to fuck off.
[Actually, he's not sure that he did. While everything Lucifer said to him that afternoon remains sharp as glass, whatever he said in answer is all blurred and smudged in his memory.]
It doesn't matter if you've already said something but can't remember it. If you still want to say something, you should say it.
[in the same way she had meant to say a hundred thousand things to tony stark, now fizzled into nothing after his death; that kind of hollow nothing just sitting there, never to be resolved.]
[this question, though she's likely asked it, is more regarding one very specific thing: his brother. losing someone like that is not easy. wanda can only empathize, remembering how she had reacted when she was initially grieving for pietro.]
[Otherwise? He's lonely most of the time. He misses his brother every day. Simon, every other day. He'd kissed two boys. He lies awake at night and can't get out of bed during the day. Sometimes he forgets meals; other times he slips food out of the dining room to eat alone.]
I guess so.
Wanda, I'm fine. Despite everything.
I started learning how to fight. I kind of suck, but
[wanda remembers not wanting to have people fuss over her when it came to reconciling losing pietro. she would much rather distract herself with hours and hours spent watching tv, when she wasn't out training with the avengers. there really isn't much she can do from solvunn for him.
and the last thing she wants is to betray his trust and tell others about why they should check up on him.
so— she skips over that.]
You have? Are you learning to use a weapon in specific? Or is it using magic to fight?
[He appreciates Wanda's willingness to accept his flimsy cardboard answer. A more truthful one, he thinks, would be such a mess that nobody could make any sense out of it.]
Hand to hand.
Kyle offered to teach me. I figured I might as well.
[Well, Wanda's judgment in character is a little suspect now. It's not Kyle he's thinking about, but Lucifer. Part of him wants to know what she sees in him; the rest of him knows he'll get all twisted up in knots. He wants to talk about Lucifer as much as he wants to talk to him — and as much as he wants to explode at Wanda.]
He's been working me pretty hard. I'll let you know when I stop sucking.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
So you've been talking to Lucifer.
You realize who he is, right? I feel like a fucking idiot for not seeing it sooner.
I don't know what the hell you can do to help me from all the way over there. I don't
I don't know what to do, Wanda. I'm so fucked.
no subject
[she thought of something, because of course she did.]
no subject
He doesn't care about me, he just knows he can't manipulate me if I'm pissed off at him.
Give me a second.
Ok, I've got it.
[He's annoyed at her at the moment — just because he's annoyed at everyone, all of his animosity toward Lucifer leaking and bleeding — but he won't shove away her help. He's desperate for any shield, any armor.]
no subject
no subject
Done.
He's an asshole.
no subject
[yeah, they'll talk about this in a minute. first, she needs to express this to him.]
no subject
Thanks. I think I've got it.
I told him to fuck off.
[Actually, he's not sure that he did. While everything Lucifer said to him that afternoon remains sharp as glass, whatever he said in answer is all blurred and smudged in his memory.]
no subject
no subject
I don't remember much of what I said, to be honest. I was so mad.
[Hurt is the more accurate word, but. He'll nurse that wound on his own.]
no subject
[in the same way she had meant to say a hundred thousand things to tony stark, now fizzled into nothing after his death; that kind of hollow nothing just sitting there, never to be resolved.]
no subject
[To pick open those wounds.]
no subject
no subject
[Like maybe he can get through it without throwing up.]
no subject
no subject
If I send a super incoherent message, you know what it means.
[Ha...ha...]
no subject
[this question, though she's likely asked it, is more regarding one very specific thing: his brother. losing someone like that is not easy. wanda can only empathize, remembering how she had reacted when she was initially grieving for pietro.]
no subject
I guess so.
Wanda, I'm fine. Despite everything.
I started learning how to fight. I kind of suck, but
It's better than nothing.
no subject
and the last thing she wants is to betray his trust and tell others about why they should check up on him.
so— she skips over that.]
no subject
Hand to hand.
Kyle offered to teach me. I figured I might as well.
no subject
["i like him"]
no subject
He's been working me pretty hard. I'll let you know when I stop sucking.
Thanks, Wanda. You take care of yourself too.