Think of it like this. On your own, unhindered, your default, you're a spark threatening to catch kindling at all times. Put off a bit of heat here and there. Enough to set curtains on fire.
But passion. Anger. You feed into those like you feed any fire. You allow yourself to thrive. It's not about holding back and all that nonsense. It's about understanding yourself enough that you don't become a forest fire.
And even if you do? So what. That's how fresh life grows.
Fire is always seen as nothing but destruction--rarely does anyone acknowledge that it brings new life. That it cleanses.
Strike a match, kid. I'm not kidding, you should actually do it. Without the magic you've acquired. That flame, that spark, that's you. It won't easily catch, not without all the bullshit surrounding it. Your emotions--they're your weapon. They're where you brandish your power. Just sink back into your feelings when you need to flourish and everything lights aflame around you.
Most adults don't have that power. They've shut off. Broken that connection. You don't have that luxury and that might be one of the few things that you can use to protect yourself.
I'm serious. I deal with a lot of crap nobody else my age has to deal with.
[That's part of the affliction of being a teenager, believing that nobody else could possibly understand. But on the other hand, it's true. Other 16-year-olds don't have their every move followed by the media, or a whole alternate self invented by tabloids.]
[There's a long pause, filled with his reluctance to share too much. One of the few things he likes about being here is that it's completely disconnected from his life back home. But...from what he knows about Lucifer, the man is something of a loner. He doesn't even like giving his own name to people, so why would he say anything about Wilhelm?]
For one thing, the whole country has been watching me from the minute I was born. Other kids are allowed to do stupid things and make mistakes, but if I do it, I have to give a whole fucking apology speech.
he doesn't say that. in the current grand scope of things he recognizes it Will Not Help right now since Wilhelm doesn't actually believe he's the devil.]
They'll expect an apology for that, too, I'm sure. Good news, you don't owe anyone anything here. Just, in this case, any stupid mistakes here might just get you killed.
[He recalls, suddenly, how Lucifer claimed to be a king that first time they met in the castle dining hall. But after everything he's learned about the man in the intervening weeks, he's sure it had been some kind of joke. Lucifer sometimes has that way of talking, like he's telling a joke that nobody else gets.
It's still hard to know what exactly to make of him, but Wilhelm likes what he says. Well, thinks. Whatever.]
I think I'm done apologizing. That's one of the things I actually like about this place. Even though we're not allowed to leave the town, I feel like I have more freedom here.
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Well, good thing I have a lot to be pissed off about.
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[That's part of the affliction of being a teenager, believing that nobody else could possibly understand. But on the other hand, it's true. Other 16-year-olds don't have their every move followed by the media, or a whole alternate self invented by tabloids.]
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For one thing, the whole country has been watching me from the minute I was born. Other kids are allowed to do stupid things and make mistakes, but if I do it, I have to give a whole fucking apology speech.
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[Which makes him...well, Lucifer can do the math himself.]
Yeah, I figured that out. I've been doing what everyone else wants me to do my entire life. I finally got sick of it.
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he doesn't say that. in the current grand scope of things he recognizes it Will Not Help right now since Wilhelm doesn't actually believe he's the devil.]
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It's still hard to know what exactly to make of him, but Wilhelm likes what he says. Well, thinks. Whatever.]
I think I'm done apologizing. That's one of the things I actually like about this place. Even though we're not allowed to leave the town, I feel like I have more freedom here.
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Um. If you could maybe not mention anything about my title to anyone, I'd appreciate it.
It's sort of like you with your name.
[It becomes too easy to say too much when you're not saying it face to face, doesn't it?]
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Thank you.