[ satisfied with his work, with the whole evening in general, iris finally joins wilhelm on the floor, finding a spot right beside the other to flop onto his back. he'd miscalculated, perhaps, landing a little too close that their shoulders bump awkwardly together, but he's already far too comfortable in the sea of pillows and quilts to move. ]
I should be the one thanking you, actually. I'm usually just making things for myself...
[ he trails off for a second too long, a tinge of melancholy as he recalls the gaping loneliness of his life back in seattle. he shakes it off a second later though, as is his say. he forces the lightness back into his tone. ]
It's nice having someone [ just having someone ] to make things for.
[Iris bumps into him, but Wilhelm doesn't move either. He doesn't need more space. He likes the warm seam of their shoulders resting against each other. When he lolls his head to the side, he has a view of Iris's dark hair pooling against the pillow next to him.
As Iris trails off, Wilhelm can feel the empty space underneath what he leaves unsaid, like floorboards giving out. He wonders what kind of life his roommate had before, where he had to hide because of the power he possesses. Weren't there others like him? But if they were all complacent with tucking their power away, while Iris chafed against the rules forced on him, then...it must have been lonely anyway.
That's something he understands deep in his ribs. How nice it is, just having someone. Grinning, he nudges Iris's arm with his.]
You can make things for me whenever you want. [He rolls onto his side to face Iris, propped up on an elbow to tilt back more of the wine.] So...how has it been? Your first month here.
[A sudden sense of deja vu swings into him. Last year, he'd sat across from Kelson and asked this same question. With his arm curled around the bottle, his fingers subconsciously reach for the necklace he still has never taken off.]
[ there is a brief moment just after wilhelm shifts to prop himself up on his elbow that iris fears the other boy might have been drawing away. it's quickly dashed away by the reality of the opposite, but for at least that half-second iris had felt a familiar spike of fear. there had been many times, during those few months before laurence ultimately stopped paying him any attention, that iris had had to walk on eggshells around the other boy... never quite knowing what he could or couldn't do that would no longer be considered acceptable to the other demiflora's shifting views.
so far, he hasn't yet fucked up with wilhelm. but his current track record isn't very encouraging. ]
It's been... good.
[ the answer comes out tentative at first, because iris hadn't actually known how he'd answer until it actually left his mouth. he sits with that for a second, as if testing the weight of its truth. ]
Well, [ he says after a beat, ] the memory stuff was kinda weird and I definitely didn't enjoy having to drink fire water. [ just! saying! ] But everything else...
[ he trails off, gaze snagging on the movement of wilhelm's hand. reaching for the necklace he'd caught sight of, once or twice, and wondering if it was something of his brother's. iris's hands meet laced over his ribs, where he would normally feel the weight of rosalie's pendant resting there... only he'd arrived here without anything. not that necklace, or the collar the valley had outfitted him with just to keep him under control.
he draws in some air, lets it out in one slightly shaky breath. ]
I think it helps that I was sort of... in between stuff, right as I got here. I had to leave a place I was just starting to get comfortable in, and was about to sign myself up for what was probably going to be a really bad time.
[ he smiles a little ruefully, shrugging. ]
Anywhere's already better in comparison. But I don't hate it here. In fact, I think... I think I like it a lot. Actually.
[Until Iris admits that — I think I like it a lot — Wilhelm doesn't realize that he's holding himself like a breath, braced for an answer he doesn't want to hear.
Kelson, who once shared this room with him, and whose necklace he now twirls around his fingers, had made it no secret that he never intended to stay if he could help it. He was unhappy here. Despite Wilhelm's best efforts to show him that his life didn't have to be confined to the narrow path chosen for him, he still believed the best he could do was surrender his happiness for duty. He still believed he could find no purpose beyond the throne he'd ascended to at such a young age.
At some point, Wilhelm gingerly brushed against the conclusion that even if Kelson had stayed, loving him would have broken his heart eventually.
Now, he relaxes into a smile. He lets go of the moon-white pendant.]
Good. [His eyelashes flutter low, head shaking.] I mean, not that you were going through a rough time before, but... It's good that you have a chance to...get comfortable again.
[He lets that linger for a moment, before he stumbles into saying something he wasn't planning to share, but it feels right suddenly. It just fits, in this cocoon Iris has created for them, this sleepover atmosphere of wine and confessions.]
I had a hard time at first when I got here. I was younger than everyone else, and I didn't have the skills or experience that they all seemed to have. It felt like...being thrown into the ocean without knowing how to swim. And it's not that nobody tried to reach out to me and help me, but...I don't know, I just felt like I didn't belong.
[His gaze wanders around the room over Iris's shoulder, his brown eyes catching the blinking lights. He expels a dry chuckle.]
[ iris' eyes trace along the twinkling constellations he'd painted out on the ceiling overhead. none of them are accurate to the skies back home, nor the ones here. all made up of shapes familiar to their shared living space, and anything else that might have caught his fancy at the time.
he thinks of the state of the room when he's got here — how little lived in it looked. he thinks of wilhelm spending all his time in a space like that, how much lonelier it might have been because of it. ]
Yeah. I get that.
[ he spent a lot of time in his room, too.
anyway. enough of that, he thinks. iris rolls over onto his side, reaching out to shove at wilhelm's shoulder. (it probably does nothing.) ]
Dude. Were you ever gonna tell me you're a literal prince??
[ yes, okay, it clearly comes with a lot of baggage for wilhlem. but right now iris isn't meaning to invoke any of that. rather, from the faint glimmer of his eyes, it's clear this is less a "omg that's so heavy i'm so sorry" and more of a "wtf you're literal royalty that's so cool." perhaps here, in this safe little space they've carved out for themselves as two regular teenage boys just hanging out, it can be alright to separate the two, and celebrate something objectively awesome. ]
[It got better, he was going to say. It got easier. But Iris distracts him from the point he was trying to make by tilting toward him and shoving his shoulder, and maybe it doesn't matter anyway. Maybe Iris already understands that part too.
Anyway, he half laughs, half winces as his roommate pokes at his royal status. He puts off answering by slipping more wine, and appeases Iris by offering the bottle again and hitting him with puppy eyes.]
It just never came up...? [He shakes his head, then clarifies:] I was a prince. I'm not anymore, not really. I'm just Wilhelm.
[Wilhelm doesn't miss it. The weight of such grand expectations resting uneasily on his narrow shoulders, and the weight of so many eyes following his every move, so many cameras zooming in on his mistakes. The sense, knotted in his stomach, that he was going to fail. He was going to disappoint everyone.]
You're not going to start calling me your highness, are you?
[ iris hasn't yet mastered how to handle drinking from the wine bottle in the half-laying, propped-on-his-side position that he's in that wilhelm has seemed well adept in, and so when he takes his own swig he winds up spilling enough that it dribbles down his chin, but fortunately get caught up in his shirt before reaching any of the quilts or pillows. he swipes at the liquid with the back of a sleeve paw, lifting his brows in an innocent-but-not-so-innocent way when wilhelm questions him. ]
Only when I want to annoy you, [ iris promises. the kind of promise one immediately knows he'll make good on, eventually.
he passes the bottle back to wilhelm, before deciding he'd rather sit back up again to avoid any more spills. legs crossed, he maintains the sparse distance between them by leaning in, chin and cheeks cupped in his hands. ]
[Wilhelm's eyes follow the dribble of wine down Iris' chin. A grin tugs at the corners of his lips. Through years of wallowing in here alone and commiserating with friends now gone, he's become something of an expert in drinking straight from the bottle. It's all about the angle, as he demonstrates when Iris passes the bottle back.
Although he makes a face at his roommate, he doubts he'll be all that annoyed. Half because it's Iris, and half because your highness just feels so disconnected from who he is now. It's like calling him the wrong name. He blows out a sigh.]
I guess I could have whatever I wanted, as long as it could be bought with money. [Unfortunately, so many of the things he wanted had nothing to do with money.] But you can just do that with your powers.
[He gestures to the hat perched snugly on his head.]
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[ satisfied with his work, with the whole evening in general, iris finally joins wilhelm on the floor, finding a spot right beside the other to flop onto his back. he'd miscalculated, perhaps, landing a little too close that their shoulders bump awkwardly together, but he's already far too comfortable in the sea of pillows and quilts to move. ]
I should be the one thanking you, actually. I'm usually just making things for myself...
[ he trails off for a second too long, a tinge of melancholy as he recalls the gaping loneliness of his life back in seattle. he shakes it off a second later though, as is his say. he forces the lightness back into his tone. ]
It's nice having someone [ just having someone ] to make things for.
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As Iris trails off, Wilhelm can feel the empty space underneath what he leaves unsaid, like floorboards giving out. He wonders what kind of life his roommate had before, where he had to hide because of the power he possesses. Weren't there others like him? But if they were all complacent with tucking their power away, while Iris chafed against the rules forced on him, then...it must have been lonely anyway.
That's something he understands deep in his ribs. How nice it is, just having someone. Grinning, he nudges Iris's arm with his.]
You can make things for me whenever you want. [He rolls onto his side to face Iris, propped up on an elbow to tilt back more of the wine.] So...how has it been? Your first month here.
[A sudden sense of deja vu swings into him. Last year, he'd sat across from Kelson and asked this same question. With his arm curled around the bottle, his fingers subconsciously reach for the necklace he still has never taken off.]
no subject
so far, he hasn't yet fucked up with wilhelm. but his current track record isn't very encouraging. ]
It's been... good.
[ the answer comes out tentative at first, because iris hadn't actually known how he'd answer until it actually left his mouth. he sits with that for a second, as if testing the weight of its truth. ]
Well, [ he says after a beat, ] the memory stuff was kinda weird and I definitely didn't enjoy having to drink fire water. [ just! saying! ] But everything else...
[ he trails off, gaze snagging on the movement of wilhelm's hand. reaching for the necklace he'd caught sight of, once or twice, and wondering if it was something of his brother's. iris's hands meet laced over his ribs, where he would normally feel the weight of rosalie's pendant resting there... only he'd arrived here without anything. not that necklace, or the collar the valley had outfitted him with just to keep him under control.
he draws in some air, lets it out in one slightly shaky breath. ]
I think it helps that I was sort of... in between stuff, right as I got here. I had to leave a place I was just starting to get comfortable in, and was about to sign myself up for what was probably going to be a really bad time.
[ he smiles a little ruefully, shrugging. ]
Anywhere's already better in comparison. But I don't hate it here. In fact, I think... I think I like it a lot. Actually.
no subject
Kelson, who once shared this room with him, and whose necklace he now twirls around his fingers, had made it no secret that he never intended to stay if he could help it. He was unhappy here. Despite Wilhelm's best efforts to show him that his life didn't have to be confined to the narrow path chosen for him, he still believed the best he could do was surrender his happiness for duty. He still believed he could find no purpose beyond the throne he'd ascended to at such a young age.
At some point, Wilhelm gingerly brushed against the conclusion that even if Kelson had stayed, loving him would have broken his heart eventually.
Now, he relaxes into a smile. He lets go of the moon-white pendant.]
Good. [His eyelashes flutter low, head shaking.] I mean, not that you were going through a rough time before, but... It's good that you have a chance to...get comfortable again.
[He lets that linger for a moment, before he stumbles into saying something he wasn't planning to share, but it feels right suddenly. It just fits, in this cocoon Iris has created for them, this sleepover atmosphere of wine and confessions.]
I had a hard time at first when I got here. I was younger than everyone else, and I didn't have the skills or experience that they all seemed to have. It felt like...being thrown into the ocean without knowing how to swim. And it's not that nobody tried to reach out to me and help me, but...I don't know, I just felt like I didn't belong.
[His gaze wanders around the room over Iris's shoulder, his brown eyes catching the blinking lights. He expels a dry chuckle.]
Actually, I spent a lot of time hiding in here.
no subject
he thinks of the state of the room when he's got here — how little lived in it looked. he thinks of wilhelm spending all his time in a space like that, how much lonelier it might have been because of it. ]
Yeah. I get that.
[ he spent a lot of time in his room, too.
anyway. enough of that, he thinks. iris rolls over onto his side, reaching out to shove at wilhelm's shoulder. (it probably does nothing.) ]
Dude. Were you ever gonna tell me you're a literal prince??
[ yes, okay, it clearly comes with a lot of baggage for wilhlem. but right now iris isn't meaning to invoke any of that. rather, from the faint glimmer of his eyes, it's clear this is less a "omg that's so heavy i'm so sorry" and more of a "wtf you're literal royalty that's so cool." perhaps here, in this safe little space they've carved out for themselves as two regular teenage boys just hanging out, it can be alright to separate the two, and celebrate something objectively awesome. ]
no subject
Anyway, he half laughs, half winces as his roommate pokes at his royal status. He puts off answering by slipping more wine, and appeases Iris by offering the bottle again and hitting him with puppy eyes.]
It just never came up...? [He shakes his head, then clarifies:] I was a prince. I'm not anymore, not really. I'm just Wilhelm.
[Wilhelm doesn't miss it. The weight of such grand expectations resting uneasily on his narrow shoulders, and the weight of so many eyes following his every move, so many cameras zooming in on his mistakes. The sense, knotted in his stomach, that he was going to fail. He was going to disappoint everyone.]
You're not going to start calling me your highness, are you?
no subject
Only when I want to annoy you, [ iris promises. the kind of promise one immediately knows he'll make good on, eventually.
he passes the bottle back to wilhelm, before deciding he'd rather sit back up again to avoid any more spills. legs crossed, he maintains the sparse distance between them by leaning in, chin and cheeks cupped in his hands. ]
C'mon... There had to have been some perks.
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Although he makes a face at his roommate, he doubts he'll be all that annoyed. Half because it's Iris, and half because your highness just feels so disconnected from who he is now. It's like calling him the wrong name. He blows out a sigh.]
I guess I could have whatever I wanted, as long as it could be bought with money. [Unfortunately, so many of the things he wanted had nothing to do with money.] But you can just do that with your powers.
[He gestures to the hat perched snugly on his head.]