[It lands like a punch to the gut. That has more to with Jesper's feelings than his own. He'd liked Inej, of course, and they were bound together by what happened in the pit in a way he can't fully articulate, but Jesper—]
I'm so sorry.
Whatever you need me for, I'm here. I know I can't make it better, but
[In the year and a half he's been here, Wilhelm has lost friends to the fickle whims of whatever magic binds them to this world. Elrond is the latest and sharpest example. But even that, he knows, isn't quite on the same level as Jesper's loss.
The closest point of reference he has is Erik's death. His brother was there all his life, until suddenly he wasn't. It was like the sun imploding, sending all the planets that used to orbit around it spinning out into the dark nothing.]
Maybe. It's hard to think clearly about it. Going back means that she's reunited with her family and stopping slavers, something she was happy about. So going back is better for her.
[ But not better for him and Kaz, stuck here without her. ]
Yeah, she'd been separated from her family since she was young, when she was taken by slavers. Kaz found them and brought them to Ketterdam. I told her that happened but she never got to experience it. Now she gets to.
She does. She'll be happier there than she was here, even if she was trying to make the most of her life here, with us. And she wouldn't want us to be without her.
[ But that's Inej. Even if it was better for her back home, she'd want to be there for them. To take care of them. So it's selfish, to wish her back, that's the point. He can't wish her back. ]
Thank everything Kaz is here because I think I would go absolutely insane.
[He would never have met Jesper if not for this place, but he knows not to take it personally. Jesper is grieving. He's hurt and angry and jagged inside.]
It sucks. It sucks how it doesn't give you a chance to say good bye.
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Inej is gone.
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The closest point of reference he has is Erik's death. His brother was there all his life, until suddenly he wasn't. It was like the sun imploding, sending all the planets that used to orbit around it spinning out into the dark nothing.]
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[ But not better for him and Kaz, stuck here without her. ]
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It hurts so much I think I'm going to die.
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[ But that's Inej. Even if it was better for her back home, she'd want to be there for them. To take care of them. So it's selfish, to wish her back, that's the point. He can't wish her back. ]
Thank everything Kaz is here because I think I would go absolutely insane.
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Yeah, that might give some closure to us, knowing that it's coming. Instead I'm left with all of her things and a mission.
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[ Who is next? Someone else he loves? ]
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