[He can't pretend to find comfort in Rhy's hand enclosing his knuckles. The familiarity of it aches in this new context. Mostly, he feels numb. Like he's gotten a tooth yanked out, and his tongue is surprised by the hole that didn't used to be there — only, the hole is in his chest instead of his mouth.
Wilhelm looks from Rhy to the rose bushes blooming around them. Tears sit in his eyes, and he blinks to keep them from falling. How fucking humiliating, getting rejected preemptively.]
[His hand retreats to the tea cup, which he considers for the first time since it was poured. It gives him something to do, the tea, as he rummages for an answer. And it's easier to swallow than anything Rhy has said.
Funny, how all this time he's sworn that he expected nothing, and now that he's gotten just that, it hurts like hell. At least before Rhy confirmed his suspicions, there was an inch of wiggle room for hope, for hopeless fantasy. Now there's no choice but to wake up.
(Not haha funny, of course, but funny in the way his whole life is a cosmic joke. That's a different kind of ache in your ribs.)]
We can still be friends.
[This is directed more at the rose bushes than at Rhy. Another white flag. He smudges out a tear as it rolls down his cheek. Abruptly, Wilhelm stands, causing the table to tremble and the tea to slosh.]
Sorry, I...kinda just want to be alone right now. [He sucks in a breath to brace his words before they start crumbling apart.] Thanks for the tea and...everything.
[ He hates to be the cause of Wilhelm's pain. His chest aches. Rhy swallows thickly, and moves to stand as well. ]
I understand. You needn't apologize.
Take all the time you need, Wille.
[ Rhy plans to stay out of his way for a good long while, if it can be helped. With how often he's making trips to Nott these days, it shouldn't be too hard to avoid him.
He just hopes Wilhelm can forgive him someday, and they really can be friends. ]
[Wilhelm nods, as if he's agreed to any of this. He says nothing else, not trusting his voice to hold steady, or his words to stay above the bitterness that's so tempting to dip into. Leaving the tea unfinished, and all this mess for Rhy to clean up by himself, he makes his unceremonious exit from the table. He doesn't know where he's going, but he's in a hurry to get there.
He's not mad at Rhy. He's mad that his heart had to hang itself on someone he can't have. He's mad that his daydreams gathered too much weight and made him want them to be real. Most of all, he's mad that he's only seventeen, instead of something more sophisticated or self-assured or whatever else might make Rhy want him.]
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Wilhelm looks from Rhy to the rose bushes blooming around them. Tears sit in his eyes, and he blinks to keep them from falling. How fucking humiliating, getting rejected preemptively.]
What do you want to do, then?
[About them.]
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I care about you and your happiness.
If we can be friends, I'd like that.
If that would make you unhappy, I'll do my best to give you as much as space as can be afforded in our limited living situation.
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Funny, how all this time he's sworn that he expected nothing, and now that he's gotten just that, it hurts like hell. At least before Rhy confirmed his suspicions, there was an inch of wiggle room for hope, for hopeless fantasy. Now there's no choice but to wake up.
(Not haha funny, of course, but funny in the way his whole life is a cosmic joke. That's a different kind of ache in your ribs.)]
We can still be friends.
[This is directed more at the rose bushes than at Rhy. Another white flag. He smudges out a tear as it rolls down his cheek. Abruptly, Wilhelm stands, causing the table to tremble and the tea to slosh.]
Sorry, I...kinda just want to be alone right now. [He sucks in a breath to brace his words before they start crumbling apart.] Thanks for the tea and...everything.
no subject
I understand. You needn't apologize.
Take all the time you need, Wille.
[ Rhy plans to stay out of his way for a good long while, if it can be helped. With how often he's making trips to Nott these days, it shouldn't be too hard to avoid him.
He just hopes Wilhelm can forgive him someday, and they really can be friends. ]
no subject
He's not mad at Rhy. He's mad that his heart had to hang itself on someone he can't have. He's mad that his daydreams gathered too much weight and made him want them to be real. Most of all, he's mad that he's only seventeen, instead of something more sophisticated or self-assured or whatever else might make Rhy want him.]